Saul’s Account of Stephen

 A 'probable' story by Mac

Welcome everyone. I am so glad that you could take time out of your busy schedules to gather together tonight. The reason for me holding this impromptu meeting, is not to just hang out and talk about old times, but rather to discuss an event that happened a coupla weeks ago.

Right after that great commotion about some men in the city speaking in some sort of strange new language and all the folks from all the surrounding countries who were there, were able to understand what they said, even though they themselves didn’t speak but one language, there was this radical extremist who claimed to have miraculous powers, but I saw right through him. My good friend Delemetus has been hanging around a group of men who have sworn to Jehovah (they are a fairly unruly, but well-meaning bunch of guys from Cyrene and Alexandria who frequent Jerusalem) to squash rebellions against our one and true Jehovah. Although we in the Sanhedrin do not endorse publicly their actions or methods, we realize their intentions and usually let this ‘Synagogue of the Freedmen’, as they are called, use whatever means they deem necessary to keep at bay the scoundrels who are always appearing, claiming to the great Messiah. Anyway, this madman, a guy people referred to as Stephen, was really causing a lot of commotion around town, by pretending to heal some of the people and do other miracles. I knew that he was only a charlatan, and that the folks he ‘miraculously made well’ were secretly friends of his or supporters of the rebellion he was leading. Unfortunately though, in the whole lot of these Freedmen, even some of their friends who had joined them from the province of Cilicia and Asia, there probably wasn’t one of them who had been schooled by any of my fellow leaders of the Sanhedrin. Even Gameliel had once remarked to me that these were no more than uneducated zealots who might cause problems for us if we didn’t watch them closely; I think he confided that in me as he knew my close friend was one of their main leaders.

So anyway, this baby-faced weirdo was arguing with my friend’s accomplices one day and I guess they weren’t being very successful. They gave up arguing and went to see my buds from that small group of educated brothers in Moses’ laws, and convinced them, probably through lies and coercion of some of the lesser folks in our fine community, that Stevie-boy was saying blasphemous things against both our great Father, Moses, and against Jehovah Himself.

Well, what happened next started out innocently enough as these law teachers politely escorted Stephen and brought him to see me and the other members of the Sanhedrin. You shoulda seen this guy…every time someone provided proof that he was saying and teaching sacrilegious and irreligious things, he just sat and listened and didn’t say a word. Then, all of a sudden, he goes into this extraordinarily long tirade, and actually tried to teach US, the very experts in Jehovah’s laws, about US being stiff-necked and resistant to the Holy Spirit. I couldn’t believe my ears. He went on and on, starting with a supposedly history lesson, beginning even with the great Moses, and continuing to the point that today, the Sadduces, Pharisees and us other fine leaders of Jehovah’s people, are the ones who are wrong. He even accused us of killing the prophets. Can you believe that? The only persons I ever had put to death were certainly no prophets, but simply radical nuts such as he. Oh sure, I knew that Herod was eventually going to get rid of that flea-bag, far-reaching crazy man who used to call the desert his home. He had it coming, calling my friends a brood of vipers, and he, standing in the river, was actually dunking people underneath those muddy waters so they could get clean!!! Of course, he was talking about getting cleansed from sin. What a nut? He told us all to repent, because the Messiah was on his way. Oh yeah, like He might show up any time…we have been waiting a long time, and when He does show up, believe you me, I will know him. He will be the biggest King this world has ever known. He will wage war against, not only the Romans who have our countrysides under their complete domination, but also against all of our enemies. He will put an end to that once and for all. Oh yes, I will definitely recognized the Messiah if and when he ever comes….and it won’t have anything to do about repenting from the joys of this land.

So, back to the lies coming from this man Stephen’s filthy mouth. Not only did he stand right there in front of all of us and try to belittle our superior knowledge with a slanted look of history, but he even said that the Messiah had already come, and that we, the very leaders who Jehovah put on this earth to care for his people through proclaiming the word, had actually murdered Him. He was referring to that camel-hide wearing, bug-eating nut’s cousin, that son of the carpenter who lives in Nazareth. Huh….nothing ever good has ever come out of that one-camel town, and nothing ever will.

Well, after he got through ranting and raving, nothing I could have done, even if I had wanted to, was going to save this man’s skin. I watched justice being done that day when the group had finally had enough and escorted Stephen outside of Jehovah’s city, and carried out Jehovah’s will. His final cries were saddening….he was praying to Jehovah to forgive US, rather than to get forgiveness for his blasphemous actions. No more Mr. Stephen, no more problem.

I hope you all understand now, what we have to do with people like this. There are hundreds, if not thousands of them, all over the countryside, and they seem to be growing every day. They even have a name they have adopted for themselves. They call their movement “the Way”. I say, the way to what? Death? Most certainly if they don’t stop these ridiculous antics and hatred toward us and Jehovah. If we wait much longer, they will produce a whole bunch of neurotics like Stephen, and by using their tricks and other schemes of the devil, may be able to convince enough of our people that they are actually right…that we, the select, the chosen, are at fault for their problems. We have to start doing something about all of this before it gets too far out of hand.

That is why I have asked you to join me tonight. To listen to the truth, and start ridding our population of this disease. I hope I can count on you for your help. What I plan to do is go to the high priests first thing in the morning, get them to write letters to some synagogues giving me permission to arrest any of these zealots, and then personally, I am going to carry them first to the synagogues in Damascus. I hope a few of you can accompany me, as I may run into unforeseen situations along the way.

I will be leaving a couple of hours before noon, so please, be thinking on your way home tonight, if you want to assist Jehovah, meet me at the central gate to the city and we will get started. I understand the sun is supposed to be exceptionally bright tomorrow.